Not Now, but RIGHT NOW!

by Scissor Now!

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Once upon a time Laura and Jess were sick of not being in a band and casually walked up to Kevin and said, “Hey you want to start a band with us called Scissor Now!?”
Kevin liked the name. He also liked these two and enjoyed the music they used to play, so he said, “Yes”.
They started on a Tuesday.
Two years later they recorded a album (this one). Laura moved out of town, but Scissor Now! Couldn't die and Jef Porkins was asked to play bass. He, just like Kevin so long ago, said “Yes”. At one point, Adrienne Berry joined the band playing sax as well, it was beautiful, but short lived. She moved away.
Jef, Jess and, Kevin continue to play as Scissor Now! to this day.


released June 21, 2013

Jess Bratus: Saxophone/ Lead Vocals
Laura Leonard: Bass/ Vocals
Kevin Sanchez: Drums/ Vocals

All songs written by Scissor Now! (Except “Make Babies or Die Trying” originally written by FAS, then covered by EVERYONE ELSE)
Recorded by Pat Schrock in his studio basement Jan: 2012



all rights reserved


Scissor Now! Ann Arbor, Michigan

Music Video for ["Jackals"]

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Track Name: Corporate Deodorant
We shop at Walmart, Kroger,
10 for 10, it's cheaper than food
My time is short, my patience thin,
It's rotting my mood
We've got gridlock, road rage,
and bad attitudes
I kinda get the feeling that
we're all getting screwed
We've got the lowest BMI on
screens and the magazines
Hey no wonder why the little girls
have low self esteem
Now its suburbia, Xanax,
and Bow-flex machines
So sick of this TV culture
that is slowly killing me
So toxic, only corporate deodorant
can save my pits
So stinky, this credit line the government
feeds me with
She's got 3 karats on her finger,
Does she got gynie bling?
I juice 3 carrots in the morning
To protect from this cancerous living
Track Name: Bang Gary Fisher
Wanna check your crankset
Wanna feel your bottom bracket
and your head tube
Sliding down your dropouts
I can service your drivetrain, baby
And your top tube
Is longer than all the others
Gotta modify my fork
Put it on your 29'er
And it feels so sweet
Ain't another frame finer
Wanna bang, Gary Fisher?
Gary Fisher, Gary Fisher done.
Track Name: Fuck Chico
The windows are boarded,
There's blood on the walls,
A half-dead cat begs me
for food with her claws
We've run out of gas
and we've got to stay here
Sierra Nevada can't pour enough beer

They're wild in their eyes
and they're on LSD
A flea jumps from half-dead Cat
onto my sleeve
I'll sleep on the porch,
You'll sleep on the lawn
You'll get the rash,
But I'll be stabbed by dawn.
Fuck Chico!
I'm never goin' back again
Fuck Chico!
I'm never goin' back again
You call me at 7:00,
there's fear in your voice
You want to come home
but you don't have a choice
I try to console you,
my words are in vain
Your bandmates are zombies,
they're gnawing your brain
Fuck Chico, I'm never goin' back again!
Track Name: There's An International District in Seattle
Caleb: he told me on Facebook
I didn't believe it I had to look
Government cannot be trusted
Extra terrestrial busted
They're coming in pods by the dozens
Our nuclear weapons can't save of now
Crop circles fields are infected
Alien life forms detected

No it's not
Yes it is...
Track Name: Bail Out
I hear Canada is nice...
Let's get out while we still can
That's change I can believe in
Bail OUT
Bail out
Fall out
Far house
Bears out

Enjoy the nuclear winter from afar
Axe in hand,
The zombies will not find us here

Addiction to dino oil
Ravaging our resources
Let's get out while we still can
No one can make me think twice
Axe in hand,
The zombies will not find us here

Not my problem anymore
Track Name: Ham Sandwich
I can't wait
To eat a ham sandwich
Sandwich gone
Sandwich song!
Track Name: Pee On My Butt
Went to Plum Market,
Got pee on my butt
Shouldn't have left the house,
‘Cause I'm dressed like a slut
You look fine on a bike,
Just don't tell me your age
Scissor me timbers in a
Live mammal cage
Tried to go to work,
But my bike ate my foot
Now my ankle's in a cast,
And my summer's ka-put
Should’ve played HOOKY
But I needed the cash
Now foreclosure's on the brink
And this money won't last

Pretending I'm a bawler
Down at the 8 ball
Porkins cut me off
‘Cause I puked in the hall
Now I'm walking home alone
‘Cause I don't have my keys
And I don't remember how
I got bloody knees
On a scale of 1-10
She was fully a 9
Jotted down her number,
Said to call me sometime
But the note flew out the window,
Now I don't have a shot
And I'm searching through the gutters
So we can wiki-wiki, wah-wah
Track Name: On Your Knees
On your knees, fuckin' dead
I've got a bag full of babies
'Cause my zombies need fed
Float away on a giant clam
You can push me if you're a mermaid
or just a merman
On your knees, fuckin' dead
there is a fat man crying and
he's giving me head
That's the kind of dream you don't share
Keep it to yourself, I don't care
Tell it to your pillow, not me
Track Name: One Porkin Minute
One Porkin Minute
When you step back and look at your life
You gotta make a zombie your wife
Squatter started a fight
End it with my Mag-Lite
Track Name: Sexual Kombucha
People fuck all
Cloeca, cloeca, cloeca in my brain
Sprain my ankle
Penis wrinkle!

Sexual Kombucha,
I can see it in your face,
You've got that enzyme glow
Sexual Kombucha,
you can rock that booty bass
You've got that genital flow
Everything hole of a mammal
I meant to say amphibian,
Amphibian or avian.
Track Name: Make Babies or Die Trying
Make babies or die trying
I fuck raw and so should you
Because the good book tells me to
C'mon everybody, it's tradition, man!
Make those babies as fast as you can!
Make babies or die trying
Track Name: Remembering Olestra
Remembering Olestra